Fairly Peaceful Weekend

We took my in-laws to the airport early Saturday morning and saw them off on their way home. They had been in since September 13th for a visit. Then we decided to have breakfast at Honey Baked Hams in Lexington. Their hams are delicious and I can't wait until Christmas because we always get one then. After that we shopped a bit then headed back home. My husband and I decided to take a little afternoon nap and did so until the phone rang and we saw it was the hospital calling. My heart jumped because I assumed it was something about my mom, but it was my dad calling because my uncle had injured himself. Dad needed me to go and stay with Mom until he came back. My uncle is going to be ok, he cut tendons in his hand and I believe the surgery is today. After I got home we watched a movie then kind of slept in yesterday morning.

Yesterday afternoon we decided to take a quick leaf peeping trip to the mountains in the next county over. We took one photo but the colors are really muted right now. In a week or two there might be more color and I'll try it again and post some photos here. When we got home I made a big pot of chili and spent most of the evening reading and doing laundry. Yes, it was a somewhat quiet weekend. I did get some rest and that's the important thing.

It's Been A Long Time....

Yes, it's been way too long since the last time I wrote anything here. 2008 will go down as one of the most stressful years of my life, thus far anyway. I worried earlier in the year about my job situation which was rumored to change. So far nothing has changed much on that front and I wasted too much time dwelling on it. Then my mother, who has had health problems for years, got some very bad news. We found out that she has chronic myelogenous leukemia and she's been in and out of the hospital for most of the year. Right now she's home and feeling some better. But she will most likely be taking pill form chemotherapy the rest of her life. She is getting some relief from fatigue with a shot they are giving her once a week called Procrit. In August our home was broken into and some items were stolen and in early September my uncle, mother's brother, passed away. Yes, there's been quite a bit of stress this year.

It's autumn now and my favorite time of year. There's just something so hopeful and refreshing about autumn. Maybe it's the cooler weather and brighter colors of the foliage. It could be the anticipation of the upcoming holidays, I'm not sure. I just know that my mood seems to pick up towards the end of the year.

Even though the foliage this year is a bit muted due to the drought conditions we've been under it's still very pretty. This weekend we are expecting warmer temps (low 80s) but then next week we are returning to the cooler more fall-like temps. I'm looking forward to having breakfast on our back porch this Sunday and maybe sitting out there just finishing a book. I need to do a bit more decorating in the house and yard for fall, but mostly I feel like having a bit of a lazy weekend and just enjoying life.

I Wasn't Planning on Blogging Today Until...

I read this:

Daily Overview for May 07, 2008
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Extended Forecast


Quickie:
Your creativity is hot, but it could use inspiration to get going. Find it outside.

Overview:
You've got to get something off of your chest, but there may not be someone obvious to tell. You may just need to pick someone at random or even post it on a blog -- or come up with something even more creative!

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Wow, I have to say mine is right on target for today. I was feeling a bit confined and frustrated at work and decided to go get a sandwich and eat in the park. This is something I'm always wanting to do but never get or take the time to. It was like a shot in the arm, just what I needed. The past few days I've been waking up and going through the day with a sense of dread. Even though I'm still nervous about the upcoming 'thing' that I've been worrying about lately I'm not sure this is causing the feelings of insecurity I'm dealing with now. Or maybe it is, who knows?

Anyway there's a nice breeze blowing outside and the park looked lovely today. I just stayed in my van and ate because I didn't really have the time to walk to the tables and besides I wanted to be on my own for a bit. Usually I eat at my desk and never really relax. I've done this pretty much everywhere I've ever worked and I don't really know why. My lunchtimes are usually interrupted by something needing immediate attention most days as well. I think I'm going to start having lunch out at least 2 times a week and to save time and money I'm going to pack a little picnic from home and go to the park.

I don't really have a lot going on to post about. It's an unsettling time, yet an oddly uneventful one as well. My husband and I are trying to get our ducks in a row, paying off debts and trying to save money. We have always lived quite conservatively, being as frugal as we can. Now we are looking into ways of living even more simply. I've been trying to come up with ways to earn more as well so we can pay off our debts faster. I know I'm probably rambling here, it's like the title says I wasn't really planning on blogging today.

Feeling Better Today...

I almost took off Friday's post because I felt it was so negative. I decided to leave it up because it's a part of me. For better or worse, it's just part of my human experience. We can't be upbeat all the time. Things happen to us and I guess it's how we react to things that makes the difference. I was ready to throw my hands up the other day and give up. I guess it's just that the one circumstance that has me worried is something I have no control over whatsoever. The only thing I have control over on that circumstance is what I do after the fact happens. I can choose to give up, feel defeated, and be negative or I can see it as a stepping off place to something else (maybe better). As you can see I am feeling better today after taking the weekend to reflect on things and getting some rest. I appreciated the prayers, good thoughts, and advice that was giving to me from some sweet farmgirl sisters. I really value and respect what was said.

Now on to something cheerier, it's absolutely beautiful outside. The temps are in the mid 70s, the sun is shining, and the redbuds and dogwoods are in full bloom for the most part. It's much too pretty to be sitting inside today and I found out that I don't have to go to my second job tonight so I am going to get out and work in the yard some. That will perk me up for sure.

Not Doing So Well Today...

Well, it looks like what I've been kind of dreading is about to take place. The details are not firm and it's not set in stone but the beginning stages have started. I have already started making some plans, but I'm not sure now that it would be in my best interest to follow through on a few ideas I had. To say I'm a bit anxious and a little depressed today is an understatement. After going through something similar nearly 10 years ago that took years for me to really get over- here I go again. Today I'm scared, worried, and feeling a bit too tired and defeated to look to the future.

What is funny about this whole post is that if you knew me like most of my friends, family, and acquaintances you would be surprised about what I'm saying today. Most consider me calm, steady, and hopeful. Sure I suffer from depression, but most of the time I suffer in secret about that. I don't go around a lot of people when I'm feeling really down.

Another thing that is pressing on my mind and heart is my inability to conceive. We've been trying steadily for about 4 years now, maybe even longer. A lot of people don't know this but I had a miscarriage in early spring 2000. I didn't go to the hospital or anything but when it happened I just knew that was what it was. I'd never experienced anything like it before and I was at work when it happened. My husband was still in Sweden at that time (I had just moved back here 2 months earlier) and I had to call my parents to come and get me as I couldn't drive. I could barely even walk. There are quite a few women that I know that are pregnant right now or have just had a baby and even though I'm excited and happy for them I can't help but feel a bit sad. I had a friend and also a relative comment to me lately about it and they said that some people were not meant to have children and that it might not be in God's plan for me to have one. Although I'm sure they meant well by saying this to me it was not encouraging or comforting to say the least. The part that they said 'not meant to have children' actually hurt quite a bit.

One last note on this post is probably the biggest reason for my feelings today. I recently found out that a dear friend has passed on. I'm going to devote a full post to his memory but I want it to be more of a tribute to this brilliant man's life. Today I just couldn't do it the justice it deserves.

Some pics of our garden last year and etc.

I haven't posted too many pics on my blog and as I'm getting into gardening mode I thought I'd post a few photos of our garden last year. Also there's some misc. pics from the past of our home.

This is a pic of our early garden from June and I hope it posts correctly. To see the full photos please click on them.



Next are two from a little later in the year. (If you look to the upper left you can see Lizzie sniffing around the garden.)



and



The next picture is from the 100th Pumpkin Show in Circleville, Ohio. Although I know I won't grow pumpkins near this size I'm going to try and grow some from seeds that say they can grow up to 500 lbs.!! Well we shall see.




Next is a view of our orchard from a few years ago.



And some grapes growing from one of our vines, also from a few years ago.



Finally one of my favorite trees in the front yard. Hopefully in a few weeks this tree will look like this again.




Thanks for stopping by and looking at my pics. Have a great day!

Here I Go Again....

Well, only this time I've got the support of my husband who is doing it with me. It's the four letter word that hurts my feelings terribly. Yep, you guessed it.. D-I-E-T. Ugh, I'm going to refer to it from now on as our weight reduction plan. We've let ourselves go since before the holidays and it's really showing on us both. Of course I had a lot of weight to lose before but now it's worse than ever. We are setting short range goals as well as long term goals. Our first benchmark is to lose 15 lbs each by May 5th. Usually I will try to lose 20 lbs. within the first month but sometimes that's not realistic. This way it's an average of 2.5 lbs per week and I think we can manage that. And usually the first week I'm on a 'weight reduction plan' I lose as much as 8 to 10 lbs.

We decided to weigh in only on Monday mornings, since with fluid retention weight can yo-yo from day to day. DH only has about 40 lbs to lose altogether while I have quite a bit more, but it's nice doing this together. We can encourage each other and since it's just us we won't have temptations lying around. Yes, we are committed to do better and now the weather is getting nicer we can start walking and geocaching again. Exercise is just as important as food choices I think.