This Too Shall Pass...

At least I hope so. It seems like 2008 has been very trying for me and my family and friends. I've mentioned earlier what happened in the first 9 months of the year..., fear of losing a job, mom's leukemia diagnosis, our house broken into, uncle's passing, vehicle breaking down numerous times. Well, it keeps coming. What is the saying... 'that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger', well I'm hoping there's truth in that for me. I don't want to sound like whining here but I feel that if I don't get things off my chest soon I'm going to explode. I try to be strong for my family but my strength is cracking.

First off, there is my mom. She needs my help. I try to do all I can for her but it doesn't seem like it's enough for me. From my full time job I go to my part time and work several hours, then I try to go by and check on my mom. By the time I get home it's so late that all I can do is to hit the bed, and sometimes I fall asleep in my chair. I know this isn't fair to my husband either. During the week we don't see each other much or get to talk.

My housework is not getting done like it should, I just don't have the time or energy to deal with it. And I get so far behind that I have to spend a day or two just getting things in order. My husband helps all he can. He works a lot of hours too and then has the animals to tend to and chores. Oh, and I forgot after spending over $1,000 on van repairs this past year in late Oct/early Nov it finally had a problem that would have cost more to fix than it was worth. So we had to get another one. Yippee, payments again. I had just paid it off this summer and hoped it would last at least a year or two. Oh well.

Then last month we got some very bad news about my best friend. She has breast cancer and is having a mastectomy next Tuesday. She will have to have chemo and several reconstructive surgeries as well. I'm so worried about her, we've been best friends for over 37 years and we are more like sisters. I've been having some health issues and my doctor ordered some tests for me as well. He also set up for me to have a endoscopy (upper) and a colonoscopy. They also did 7 biopsies during the procedures. They found that I have GERD, Gastritis (sp), a hiatus hernia, corrosive esophagus, IBS, and Barrett's Esophagus. The Barrett's is something that I've never heard of. I received that diagnosis in the mail with no explanations. So I went to the internet to find out more. This is potentially a dangerous thing, it can be a pre cursor for esophagal cancer. I have a repeat upper endoscopy scheduled for February. From what I read I will have these done often to check for cancer.

On the day my friend has her surgery I have a doctor's appointment where they will go over the other tests I've had lately. I know my sugar levels are all out of wack and have been for awhile. I am doing better with trying to keep it under control. With all the stress I've been under it's done a number on my blood pressure, so at last visit my doctor put me on some pretty strong stuff. I read it's the one they give you when the other's didn't make a difference.

I have to stay somewhat healthy to help care for my family, so whatever has to be done I will do it. There are some foods and beverages I have to give up, some lifestyle changes as well. And in my opinion I believe that stress probably causes the excess stomach acids as well. And for me not to stress is like asking me not to breath. Just kidding, but it will be hard.

Sorry for the rambling, but as I said I needed to get this off my chest. For anyone who reads this... I am sorry for the somewhat negative tone just now but it's my reality. I try to stay positive but everything is a bit much at the moment. I had a teacher when I was young that signed an autograph book of mine with this saying. I don't know why I remembered this at this time. That was over 33 years ago but here it goes:

From the day you were born,
Until you ride in a hearse,
Things are never so bad,
That they couldn't be worse.

It's Been A Long Time....

Yes, it's been way too long since the last time I wrote anything here. 2008 will go down as one of the most stressful years of my life, thus far anyway. I worried earlier in the year about my job situation which was rumored to change. So far nothing has changed much on that front and I wasted too much time dwelling on it. Then my mother, who has had health problems for years, got some very bad news. We found out that she has chronic myelogenous leukemia and she's been in and out of the hospital for most of the year. Right now she's home and feeling some better. But she will most likely be taking pill form chemotherapy the rest of her life. She is getting some relief from fatigue with a shot they are giving her once a week called Procrit. In August our home was broken into and some items were stolen and in early September my uncle, mother's brother, passed away. Yes, there's been quite a bit of stress this year.

It's autumn now and my favorite time of year. There's just something so hopeful and refreshing about autumn. Maybe it's the cooler weather and brighter colors of the foliage. It could be the anticipation of the upcoming holidays, I'm not sure. I just know that my mood seems to pick up towards the end of the year.

Even though the foliage this year is a bit muted due to the drought conditions we've been under it's still very pretty. This weekend we are expecting warmer temps (low 80s) but then next week we are returning to the cooler more fall-like temps. I'm looking forward to having breakfast on our back porch this Sunday and maybe sitting out there just finishing a book. I need to do a bit more decorating in the house and yard for fall, but mostly I feel like having a bit of a lazy weekend and just enjoying life.