This Too Shall Pass...

At least I hope so. It seems like 2008 has been very trying for me and my family and friends. I've mentioned earlier what happened in the first 9 months of the year..., fear of losing a job, mom's leukemia diagnosis, our house broken into, uncle's passing, vehicle breaking down numerous times. Well, it keeps coming. What is the saying... 'that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger', well I'm hoping there's truth in that for me. I don't want to sound like whining here but I feel that if I don't get things off my chest soon I'm going to explode. I try to be strong for my family but my strength is cracking.

First off, there is my mom. She needs my help. I try to do all I can for her but it doesn't seem like it's enough for me. From my full time job I go to my part time and work several hours, then I try to go by and check on my mom. By the time I get home it's so late that all I can do is to hit the bed, and sometimes I fall asleep in my chair. I know this isn't fair to my husband either. During the week we don't see each other much or get to talk.

My housework is not getting done like it should, I just don't have the time or energy to deal with it. And I get so far behind that I have to spend a day or two just getting things in order. My husband helps all he can. He works a lot of hours too and then has the animals to tend to and chores. Oh, and I forgot after spending over $1,000 on van repairs this past year in late Oct/early Nov it finally had a problem that would have cost more to fix than it was worth. So we had to get another one. Yippee, payments again. I had just paid it off this summer and hoped it would last at least a year or two. Oh well.

Then last month we got some very bad news about my best friend. She has breast cancer and is having a mastectomy next Tuesday. She will have to have chemo and several reconstructive surgeries as well. I'm so worried about her, we've been best friends for over 37 years and we are more like sisters. I've been having some health issues and my doctor ordered some tests for me as well. He also set up for me to have a endoscopy (upper) and a colonoscopy. They also did 7 biopsies during the procedures. They found that I have GERD, Gastritis (sp), a hiatus hernia, corrosive esophagus, IBS, and Barrett's Esophagus. The Barrett's is something that I've never heard of. I received that diagnosis in the mail with no explanations. So I went to the internet to find out more. This is potentially a dangerous thing, it can be a pre cursor for esophagal cancer. I have a repeat upper endoscopy scheduled for February. From what I read I will have these done often to check for cancer.

On the day my friend has her surgery I have a doctor's appointment where they will go over the other tests I've had lately. I know my sugar levels are all out of wack and have been for awhile. I am doing better with trying to keep it under control. With all the stress I've been under it's done a number on my blood pressure, so at last visit my doctor put me on some pretty strong stuff. I read it's the one they give you when the other's didn't make a difference.

I have to stay somewhat healthy to help care for my family, so whatever has to be done I will do it. There are some foods and beverages I have to give up, some lifestyle changes as well. And in my opinion I believe that stress probably causes the excess stomach acids as well. And for me not to stress is like asking me not to breath. Just kidding, but it will be hard.

Sorry for the rambling, but as I said I needed to get this off my chest. For anyone who reads this... I am sorry for the somewhat negative tone just now but it's my reality. I try to stay positive but everything is a bit much at the moment. I had a teacher when I was young that signed an autograph book of mine with this saying. I don't know why I remembered this at this time. That was over 33 years ago but here it goes:

From the day you were born,
Until you ride in a hearse,
Things are never so bad,
That they couldn't be worse.