A Country Girl's Dreams

Time Passes

2010-08-25T03:44:00.002-04:00

I know, I know. For anyone who reads this it has been way too long since I updated my blog. It's just after 3:30 am in the morning now and here I sit about to do a little entry. I am going to try and post more often. I wish I had posted more in the past few years with everything going on, but I can't dwell on that. I'll just try to do better.

It's been another eventful year here with more health issues. But hopefully now I'm back on track. In the past year I've had several surgeries and procedures. The last one was to repair a large incisional hernia that resulted from the major surgery last year. One good thing I have to report is that my last CT scan in May was clear and I don't have to have another one until January! So that is very good news.

As usual for this time of year I am really looking forward to fall here. We've had a 'fall preview' as far as weather for the past few days and it looks like the next 3 days will be more of the same. I'm very thankful as it's been a long, hot summer here. I have started to get my fall decorations out and hope to have most of the house decorated by this weekend as I'm having some company in on Sunday.

I have several photos to post but I have to refresh myself on how to do it. So maybe on the next post I'll have some to share. I'll stop for now but I look forward to writing more and visiting everyone's blogs and catching up. Hope you all have a blessed day! Thanks for reading!

Time for Reflection

2009-10-15T11:42:00.003-04:00

I don't know why it is but this time of year usually causes me to slow down and think about my life. To think how I might have done things differently or how I could improve different areas in my life. Also it's a time for gratitude, to acknowledge the many blessings I have. And not to forget it's a time for remembrance of ones who have left this life in the past year. So much has happened this past year and if it weren't for the loved ones left in my life I might not have taken things as well as I have. For those loved ones, well, they mean the world to me. Although I might not always put it in words.

I am very grateful for my husband who always seems to have my best interests in his heart. He's been a trooper this year, taking care of me through my illness and through the illness and death of my mom. He's one in a million and I am so blessed that he's in my life. He's a very patient and caring man. Like my grandmother told me when I married him "You could have looked for a lifetime and never found a better man than him". My grandmother was very wise.

Fall is my favorite time of year and most people know this that know me. I look forward to autumn all year long for the beautiful foliage, fun festivals and holidays, and just times with family. It might be because I'm so content during this time that it makes me reflect on what's been going on or that the end of the year is coming soon. Whatever the reason I just know that it happens this time almost every year.

Catching Up

2009-10-06T13:21:00.003-04:00

I've let so much time pass by without a post and I feel bad about it. So many things have happened I don't know quite where to start. Well, yes I do. On March 10th this year I lost my dear, sweet Mama. I've been totally lost without her as you can imagine. There are so many things I miss about her everyday. Like I was telling a friend a bit ago there are things that I only talked to my mom about and now I don't have anyone that I feel I can talk those things over with. My mom was one in a million and I was so blessed to have her in my life. I cherish the memories I have of her. Even though she's gone from this life I still feel her presence always comforting and encouraging me to do my best.

In May I had a surgery where they removed my esophagus and 1/3 of my stomach. It was a major surgery and I was in the hospital for 17 days. I had a rough time in the beginning of my recovery and there are still some days that I have problems. I've had to have two dilations of my 'stomaphagus' since that surgery to enlarge the connections at my throat and where the intestine meets the stomach. This has made it easier for me to eat. For the first six weeks I had a feeding tube and it came out twice and had to be replaced.

The good news is that there was no cancer present in the nodes and I don't have to have chemotherapy or radiation so far. I have a scan coming in December to check if the cancer has spread to any other organ, but so far I'm okay as far as that is concerned.

I'm getting better and feeling stronger every day although some days I get really tired. I went back to work full time 6 weeks after surgery and a few weeks ago I started back at my part time job as well. Another benefit I received as a result of the surgery is that I've lost quite a bit of weight. As of today I've lost 64 lbs and hope to lose more. It's not the best way to lose weight but I think I'm getting around better as a result of it.

I'll post more soon, but this was just to catch you all up with what's been going on the past few months. I hope whoever is reading has a blessed day and thanks for taking the time to read this.

Just a short post

2009-04-23T13:59:00.002-04:00

Just wanted to put in a short post for now. As some of you know a lot has been going on in the past few months and I'm going to write soon about these things. It's hard just now putting it all into words. But I will very soon.

Some News

2009-02-28T22:30:00.002-05:00

I've been dreading this post and almost talked myself out of making it. But it's part of my life and what's happening now so here goes....

Today my father called and told me that I shouldn't come see Mom today. After some progress with her therapy she's now has C diff. She got it in the nursing home she's in right now. Several of the residents have come down with it. With her weakened immune system from the chemo I don't know what this will do to her. My grandmother died from complications of it. The reason he didn't want me to come is because of some upcoming procedures and possible surgery I might have to have.

Here is what has been going on with me...

My doctor has been asking me for the past year or so if I ever had heartburn or acid reflux. I told him very rarely and not in a long time. I thought it odd that he asked me everytime during several visits. I did tell him that I had trouble swallowing sometimes and a pain in my chest from time to time but it passed quickly and I figured I might have a 'hernia or something'. Finally during a visit last fall I told him about the pains again and some bleeding I was having. He convinced me to have an endoscopy and colonoscopy. I thought something might show up on the colonoscopy but was very surprised at what was found during the endoscopy. The GI doctor comfirmed that I did have a hiatus hernia as well as GERD, gastritis, and corrosive esophagus. He took several biopsies and told me that they would let me know about the results in about a week. He also gave me a prescription of Prilosec.

Surely enough a letter came from his office listing everything he had told me about plus something called Barrett's Esophagus. Of course I looked it up on the net because I've never heard of it. What I found was not good at all and I had a funny feeling about it. My husband told me to stop reading so much about it and it would probably turn out ok. A few days later a lady from the GI doctor's office called and asked me if I received my results and did I understand everything. She also went further and told me that they also found high grade dysplasia. Now I had read that was a pre-cursor to cancer so I was a bit worried. She told me they had scheduled a repeat endoscopy for February. They also had given me some literature about how I should take care of myself, what foods to avoid, and that I should have my upper torso elevated when I slept. There was also a list of lifestyle modifications to do, many of which I had already done.

I went into my endoscopy cautiously optimistic but a bit nervous. After it was over the doctor said some things looked better and some things looked worse. He told me I would get my results in a week or so and made an appointment for me in March to go over everything. He prescribed new meds and my insurance would not cover it without a pre-authorization. When I called their office to get that straightened out they lady said they would take care of it and I could talk to him the next day at my appointment. I told her I didn't have an appointment for a few weeks yet, but she told me my results were in and he had to talk to me then. I knew that couldn't be good. And of course I was right. I took my father with me and my husband met us there. When the doctor came in he looked uncomfortable. He opened the file and said the words I didn't want to hear. The results were back and I now have esophageal cancer. I looked him in the eye and told him I knew it. He asked how and I told him I just did. I think I knew back in November. Anyway he told me he was making an appointment for an ultrasound endoscopy for the next Tuesday. I knew that was to stage the cancer. After we know that we can make a plan of action.

That afternoon I called the people that wanted to know... family members, friends, and then went and told my mother. That was the part I had been dreading. I then went back to work and told my co workers. I went to my part time job and told the owner there. Everyone was surprised at my unemotional, matter-of-fact way of telling them. Little did they know when I was telling them it felt like I was talking about someone else. I don't know any way to explain it better than that. Sometimes it still feels like that, I know it's silly but it does. Maybe detachment is my form of coping. There are times when I think about it and the tears come. There's the uncertainty of what's ahead. I think I've wrote before of how change bothers me. Well, my life will change from this point on. It already has.

Anniversary, Recent Pics, and Card Shower

2009-02-15T08:00:00.007-05:00

Today is my parent's 45th wedding anniversary. Below is a recent pic I took of them together.

I've put up the cards Mom's received so far from the card shower that they are doing over at Mary Jane's Farmgirls forum. Her Valentine's cards from Dad and I are up there too.

My husband posed with my mom in this photo. She received the rose that she's holding from a man who came in and gave every lady in the nursing home one.

Valentine Extravaganza

2009-02-13T10:37:00.008-05:00

I received an invitation to a very special Valentine's party from a very special lady.... my mom! She had been talking about this since early this week and I knew we'd better get there in plenty of time.

By the time we got to the party area they were getting ready to announce the King and Queen. No, Mom didn't win but she was very glad to hear she was nominated! In the picture you can see the King and Queen and they were very happy about it, and well, who wouldn't be.

For the entertainment there were singers:

A magician:

And last, but not least, some very impressive jitterbugging performed by my aunt and mom. Yes, a great time was had by all.

Gratitude Post

2008-12-10T09:01:00.004-05:00

With my recent negative posting I got to thinking that any person seeing my blog for the first time would have the wrong idea about me and what I'm about. In that post I was fairly open about events that have happened this year that had brought me down. At Mary Jane Farmgirls forum there was a post about gratitude and about listing the blessings in people's lives. When I first saw it I was having a hard time dealing with a few issues going on so I didn't post anything there. Sometimes it's hard to see how blessed I am when I've got my 'negative blinders' on. In the past few days there have been blessings going on for people that I care a lot about and I'm going to list those things as well as list the good things I've got going on right now.

#1 My mom has been doing really well the past month. Her blood levels are nearly normal and the side effects from her chemo seem to be in check as well. She's getting more interested in things going on, esp. about the holidays coming up. She's also more mobile and doing more things for herself.

#2 My best friend's surgery went very well yesterday. They thought it would take longer, but the surgery only took 3 hours. She may even get to go home today or maybe tomorrow. She even called me this morning before I went to work. She was a 'bit loopy' from the pain meds but it was really good to hear her voice.

#3 A few of my MJFarmgirl sisters were having some problems and it seems that things are going better for them as well and that makes me happy. (Never underestimate the power of prayer and positive energies.. or never underestimate the power of farmgirls either.) There are some amazing women there and they inspire me with their 'can-do' attitudes.

#4 My van 'kicked the bucket' a bit ago and we had to buy another vehicle. I was unhappy that we had to make payments again after paying that van off, that extra money would have surely come in handy. But the payments were not that bad, the bank gave us a good interest rate. And I have to admit the vehicle I have now is way cooler than the mini van, a lot more fun to drive, and so far is a good running vehicle. Thank goodness gas is cheaper now too.

#5 Even though I've had quite a bit on my plate this year I have to be thankful for such a kind and understanding husband. He's always on my side and wanting the best for me. I don't know how I would have coped with things this past bit without his strength and his friendship. He's more than willing to help me out especially around the house. He cooks, cleans, and doesn't complain much. I feel guilty being away from home so much with work and mom and I feel I don't do my fair share.

#6 Thankful I still have my jobs. I was worried earlier in the year that I might lose my full time job. It still may happen but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

There are many more things to be thankful for and I need to focus on those things next time something goes wrong in my life.

Some Photos from My Life

2008-12-06T21:18:00.004-05:00

Just wanted to post a few photos from my life, past and present. Hope I remember how to do it. I'll put a little description above each one. Edit.... I still can't figure how to size the photos. Please click on them to see the full pic. Sorry about that.

Our Little Red Barn:

My best friend Brenda and I on my eighteenth birthday. What a blast from the past! (I'm the one on the right.)

My DH and my baby Lizzie!

And the last one: from Miss Wilma's Autumn Workshop. What a fun time we had there and I loved meeting everyone.

Easy Saturday

2008-12-06T20:55:00.003-05:00

Just sitting here this evening kinda watching tv, listening to my dog snore and my hubby talking back to the tv (he didn't agree with how someone was making cookies on the Food Network), and spending some time at one of my favorite forums at one of my favorite websites www.maryjanesfarm.org

I've done a bit of cleaning and laundry today other than that I've kind of goofed off. My hubby and I agreed awhile ago that we needed that kind of day today. I'm thinking of taking a warm shower in a few minutes, then maybe burn some incense or re light my tart burner and curl up with a good book. Sometimes I think it's good to spoil oneself with sensory pleasures. Oh! Paula Deen is coming on with a cookie show now... Let's see if my hubby disagrees with her. hehe All these cookie shows are making me hungry. I had some nice hot chocolate earlier so maybe that's all the sweetning I need for one day.

This evening I'm trying to focus only on good things, although I have to admit I'm still stressing about the things I mentioned on my last post. But I think I need to be more positive in my general attitude. Worry will not help any of the situations and it will hurt me in the end. So tonight I'll continue to pray for everyone and think on things that I can do for them that will help out and make things easier for them.

This Too Shall Pass...

2008-12-02T14:47:00.005-05:00

At least I hope so. It seems like 2008 has been very trying for me and my family and friends. I've mentioned earlier what happened in the first 9 months of the year..., fear of losing a job, mom's leukemia diagnosis, our house broken into, uncle's passing, vehicle breaking down numerous times. Well, it keeps coming. What is the saying... 'that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger', well I'm hoping there's truth in that for me. I don't want to sound like whining here but I feel that if I don't get things off my chest soon I'm going to explode. I try to be strong for my family but my strength is cracking.

First off, there is my mom. She needs my help. I try to do all I can for her but it doesn't seem like it's enough for me. From my full time job I go to my part time and work several hours, then I try to go by and check on my mom. By the time I get home it's so late that all I can do is to hit the bed, and sometimes I fall asleep in my chair. I know this isn't fair to my husband either. During the week we don't see each other much or get to talk.

My housework is not getting done like it should, I just don't have the time or energy to deal with it. And I get so far behind that I have to spend a day or two just getting things in order. My husband helps all he can. He works a lot of hours too and then has the animals to tend to and chores. Oh, and I forgot after spending over $1,000 on van repairs this past year in late Oct/early Nov it finally had a problem that would have cost more to fix than it was worth. So we had to get another one. Yippee, payments again. I had just paid it off this summer and hoped it would last at least a year or two. Oh well.

Then last month we got some very bad news about my best friend. She has breast cancer and is having a mastectomy next Tuesday. She will have to have chemo and several reconstructive surgeries as well. I'm so worried about her, we've been best friends for over 37 years and we are more like sisters. I've been having some health issues and my doctor ordered some tests for me as well. He also set up for me to have a endoscopy (upper) and a colonoscopy. They also did 7 biopsies during the procedures. They found that I have GERD, Gastritis (sp), a hiatus hernia, corrosive esophagus, IBS, and Barrett's Esophagus. The Barrett's is something that I've never heard of. I received that diagnosis in the mail with no explanations. So I went to the internet to find out more. This is potentially a dangerous thing, it can be a pre cursor for esophagal cancer. I have a repeat upper endoscopy scheduled for February. From what I read I will have these done often to check for cancer.

On the day my friend has her surgery I have a doctor's appointment where they will go over the other tests I've had lately. I know my sugar levels are all out of wack and have been for awhile. I am doing better with trying to keep it under control. With all the stress I've been under it's done a number on my blood pressure, so at last visit my doctor put me on some pretty strong stuff. I read it's the one they give you when the other's didn't make a difference.

I have to stay somewhat healthy to help care for my family, so whatever has to be done I will do it. There are some foods and beverages I have to give up, some lifestyle changes as well. And in my opinion I believe that stress probably causes the excess stomach acids as well. And for me not to stress is like asking me not to breath. Just kidding, but it will be hard.

Sorry for the rambling, but as I said I needed to get this off my chest. For anyone who reads this... I am sorry for the somewhat negative tone just now but it's my reality. I try to stay positive but everything is a bit much at the moment. I had a teacher when I was young that signed an autograph book of mine with this saying. I don't know why I remembered this at this time. That was over 33 years ago but here it goes:

From the day you were born,
Until you ride in a hearse,
Things are never so bad,
That they couldn't be worse.

Fairly Peaceful Weekend

2008-10-13T09:11:00.002-04:00

We took my in-laws to the airport early Saturday morning and saw them off on their way home. They had been in since September 13th for a visit. Then we decided to have breakfast at Honey Baked Hams in Lexington. Their hams are delicious and I can't wait until Christmas because we always get one then. After that we shopped a bit then headed back home. My husband and I decided to take a little afternoon nap and did so until the phone rang and we saw it was the hospital calling. My heart jumped because I assumed it was something about my mom, but it was my dad calling because my uncle had injured himself. Dad needed me to go and stay with Mom until he came back. My uncle is going to be ok, he cut tendons in his hand and I believe the surgery is today. After I got home we watched a movie then kind of slept in yesterday morning.

Yesterday afternoon we decided to take a quick leaf peeping trip to the mountains in the next county over. We took one photo but the colors are really muted right now. In a week or two there might be more color and I'll try it again and post some photos here. When we got home I made a big pot of chili and spent most of the evening reading and doing laundry. Yes, it was a somewhat quiet weekend. I did get some rest and that's the important thing.

It's Been A Long Time....

2008-10-10T11:54:00.004-04:00

Yes, it's been way too long since the last time I wrote anything here. 2008 will go down as one of the most stressful years of my life, thus far anyway. I worried earlier in the year about my job situation which was rumored to change. So far nothing has changed much on that front and I wasted too much time dwelling on it. Then my mother, who has had health problems for years, got some very bad news. We found out that she has chronic myelogenous leukemia and she's been in and out of the hospital for most of the year. Right now she's home and feeling some better. But she will most likely be taking pill form chemotherapy the rest of her life. She is getting some relief from fatigue with a shot they are giving her once a week called Procrit. In August our home was broken into and some items were stolen and in early September my uncle, mother's brother, passed away. Yes, there's been quite a bit of stress this year.

It's autumn now and my favorite time of year. There's just something so hopeful and refreshing about autumn. Maybe it's the cooler weather and brighter colors of the foliage. It could be the anticipation of the upcoming holidays, I'm not sure. I just know that my mood seems to pick up towards the end of the year.

Even though the foliage this year is a bit muted due to the drought conditions we've been under it's still very pretty. This weekend we are expecting warmer temps (low 80s) but then next week we are returning to the cooler more fall-like temps. I'm looking forward to having breakfast on our back porch this Sunday and maybe sitting out there just finishing a book. I need to do a bit more decorating in the house and yard for fall, but mostly I feel like having a bit of a lazy weekend and just enjoying life.

I Wasn't Planning on Blogging Today Until...

2008-05-07T12:52:00.002-04:00

I read this:

Daily Overview for May 07, 2008
Provided by Astrology.com Daily Extended Forecast

Quickie:
Your creativity is hot, but it could use inspiration to get going. Find it outside.

Overview:
You've got to get something off of your chest, but there may not be someone obvious to tell. You may just need to pick someone at random or even post it on a blog -- or come up with something even more creative!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, I have to say mine is right on target for today. I was feeling a bit confined and frustrated at work and decided to go get a sandwich and eat in the park. This is something I'm always wanting to do but never get or take the time to. It was like a shot in the arm, just what I needed. The past few days I've been waking up and going through the day with a sense of dread. Even though I'm still nervous about the upcoming 'thing' that I've been worrying about lately I'm not sure this is causing the feelings of insecurity I'm dealing with now. Or maybe it is, who knows?

Anyway there's a nice breeze blowing outside and the park looked lovely today. I just stayed in my van and ate because I didn't really have the time to walk to the tables and besides I wanted to be on my own for a bit. Usually I eat at my desk and never really relax. I've done this pretty much everywhere I've ever worked and I don't really know why. My lunchtimes are usually interrupted by something needing immediate attention most days as well. I think I'm going to start having lunch out at least 2 times a week and to save time and money I'm going to pack a little picnic from home and go to the park.

I don't really have a lot going on to post about. It's an unsettling time, yet an oddly uneventful one as well. My husband and I are trying to get our ducks in a row, paying off debts and trying to save money. We have always lived quite conservatively, being as frugal as we can. Now we are looking into ways of living even more simply. I've been trying to come up with ways to earn more as well so we can pay off our debts faster. I know I'm probably rambling here, it's like the title says I wasn't really planning on blogging today.

Feeling Better Today...

2008-04-21T13:51:00.002-04:00

I almost took off Friday's post because I felt it was so negative. I decided to leave it up because it's a part of me. For better or worse, it's just part of my human experience. We can't be upbeat all the time. Things happen to us and I guess it's how we react to things that makes the difference. I was ready to throw my hands up the other day and give up. I guess it's just that the one circumstance that has me worried is something I have no control over whatsoever. The only thing I have control over on that circumstance is what I do after the fact happens. I can choose to give up, feel defeated, and be negative or I can see it as a stepping off place to something else (maybe better). As you can see I am feeling better today after taking the weekend to reflect on things and getting some rest. I appreciated the prayers, good thoughts, and advice that was giving to me from some sweet farmgirl sisters. I really value and respect what was said.

Now on to something cheerier, it's absolutely beautiful outside. The temps are in the mid 70s, the sun is shining, and the redbuds and dogwoods are in full bloom for the most part. It's much too pretty to be sitting inside today and I found out that I don't have to go to my second job tonight so I am going to get out and work in the yard some. That will perk me up for sure.

Not Doing So Well Today...

2008-04-18T11:31:00.002-04:00

Well, it looks like what I've been kind of dreading is about to take place. The details are not firm and it's not set in stone but the beginning stages have started. I have already started making some plans, but I'm not sure now that it would be in my best interest to follow through on a few ideas I had. To say I'm a bit anxious and a little depressed today is an understatement. After going through something similar nearly 10 years ago that took years for me to really get over- here I go again. Today I'm scared, worried, and feeling a bit too tired and defeated to look to the future.

What is funny about this whole post is that if you knew me like most of my friends, family, and acquaintances you would be surprised about what I'm saying today. Most consider me calm, steady, and hopeful. Sure I suffer from depression, but most of the time I suffer in secret about that. I don't go around a lot of people when I'm feeling really down.

Another thing that is pressing on my mind and heart is my inability to conceive. We've been trying steadily for about 4 years now, maybe even longer. A lot of people don't know this but I had a miscarriage in early spring 2000. I didn't go to the hospital or anything but when it happened I just knew that was what it was. I'd never experienced anything like it before and I was at work when it happened. My husband was still in Sweden at that time (I had just moved back here 2 months earlier) and I had to call my parents to come and get me as I couldn't drive. I could barely even walk. There are quite a few women that I know that are pregnant right now or have just had a baby and even though I'm excited and happy for them I can't help but feel a bit sad. I had a friend and also a relative comment to me lately about it and they said that some people were not meant to have children and that it might not be in God's plan for me to have one. Although I'm sure they meant well by saying this to me it was not encouraging or comforting to say the least. The part that they said 'not meant to have children' actually hurt quite a bit.

One last note on this post is probably the biggest reason for my feelings today. I recently found out that a dear friend has passed on. I'm going to devote a full post to his memory but I want it to be more of a tribute to this brilliant man's life. Today I just couldn't do it the justice it deserves.

Some pics of our garden last year and etc.

2008-04-09T22:55:00.003-04:00

I haven't posted too many pics on my blog and as I'm getting into gardening mode I thought I'd post a few photos of our garden last year. Also there's some misc. pics from the past of our home.

This is a pic of our early garden from June and I hope it posts correctly. To see the full photos please click on them.

Next are two from a little later in the year. (If you look to the upper left you can see Lizzie sniffing around the garden.)

and

The next picture is from the 100th Pumpkin Show in Circleville, Ohio. Although I know I won't grow pumpkins near this size I'm going to try and grow some from seeds that say they can grow up to 500 lbs.!! Well we shall see.

Next is a view of our orchard from a few years ago.

And some grapes growing from one of our vines, also from a few years ago.

Finally one of my favorite trees in the front yard. Hopefully in a few weeks this tree will look like this again.

Thanks for stopping by and looking at my pics. Have a great day!

Here I Go Again....

2008-03-24T11:34:00.002-04:00

Well, only this time I've got the support of my husband who is doing it with me. It's the four letter word that hurts my feelings terribly. Yep, you guessed it.. D-I-E-T. Ugh, I'm going to refer to it from now on as our weight reduction plan. We've let ourselves go since before the holidays and it's really showing on us both. Of course I had a lot of weight to lose before but now it's worse than ever. We are setting short range goals as well as long term goals. Our first benchmark is to lose 15 lbs each by May 5th. Usually I will try to lose 20 lbs. within the first month but sometimes that's not realistic. This way it's an average of 2.5 lbs per week and I think we can manage that. And usually the first week I'm on a 'weight reduction plan' I lose as much as 8 to 10 lbs.

We decided to weigh in only on Monday mornings, since with fluid retention weight can yo-yo from day to day. DH only has about 40 lbs to lose altogether while I have quite a bit more, but it's nice doing this together. We can encourage each other and since it's just us we won't have temptations lying around. Yes, we are committed to do better and now the weather is getting nicer we can start walking and geocaching again. Exercise is just as important as food choices I think.

O, Spring... Where art thou?!

2008-03-11T12:39:00.003-04:00

It's March 11th, the buttercups (daffadils) are up and some blooming, the birds are coming back... but the temperature feels more like mid-winter thus far. We had a nice snowstorm this past weekend, the most we've had in a while. It didn't last too long though. And even though I'm a cooler climate lover I'm ready for winter to be over. The snow is gone now except for a trace here and there and now we are left with mud. I guess it's peak mud season. Our back yard is a bit of a mess, especially around the dog kennel and orchard.

I'm getting excited about the upcoming growing season. I'm anxious to get our seeds started but I promised myself we would not do what we did last year. By late February last year we had bought most all of our seeds and got them started then and by mid March or so. Well after mid March we started having days with temps in the 70s and even a couple of days in the 80s. We planted even more seeds in pods inside. We had little trays everywhere. On the kitchen counters, on the bar between the kitchen and the dining room, in all the window sills, in our little homemade, makeshift greenhouse on the basement steps from the outside. Just everywhere. We even started our flower and herb seeds inside. We were sure we were done with the cold weather and frost. Well that wasn't the case. By early April we were having heavy frosts and snows. Most of our starts were ready to go out but the weather wasn't co-operating. One day I came in from work and the smell just about got me. We could have put them on our back porch but they wouldn't have made it we don't think. So we lived with the 'smell' for a bit longer until the weather changed. Now I don't mind the smell of dirt in the outdoors but inside it was a bit too much. Hopefully we've learned a lesson in patience and can just wait for a bit.

My situation from the last post has not changed in essentials. The talk of a 'change' is still out there but I'm more open to things now than I was when I wrote before. It's still a bit scary to think about but at least I've come up with some possibilities if/when it comes to pass. That is, I did with the help and advice of a good friend.

Ch-Ch-Changes

2008-01-28T08:25:00.000-05:00

My life is about to go through a major upheaval in the next few months, or so a rumor goes. I'll not elaborate on the specifics of the rumor as I don't like to spread things, especially if I'm not 100% sure that it's true or even if it will come to pass. It's not a bad thing in itself actually, but it's something I have no control over and that's the part that bothers me. I'm not a big fan of the unknown, especially if a possible unknown carries so much weight that it can affect my way of life. To say I don't like change is an understatement. I think the worst part of it all is the anticipation and uncertainity of it. I am a worrier, always have been and probably always will be. People will say to me "don't worry about it, it's not happened yet". But I can't help it, even if I try to put it to the back of my mind it will sneak back and will cause me to stress. I'm stressing even now as I'm typing this.

Now having said all that about not liking change there is one comfort that I can remind myself about. Although the thought of having my routine and security messed with bothers me... once the change has been made I usually don't take too long to adapt. So in a nutshell (because I know I'm nutty!) if I can make it through the next few months of anticipation surely by the time of the 'occurence' I'll have come up with some coping mechanisms or maybe an actual solution to what must be done. I know of course I won't be going through this alone, I'll have the love and support of my husband, parents, and friends.

I don't mean to sound mysterious and as soon as I know for sure that this 'thing' is going to happen I'll have lots of posts about it. I've only found out about this in the past few days and I'm still not sure what to make of it.

I Got Tagged!! Thanks Beemoosie!

2008-01-25T20:41:00.000-05:00

//beequilting.blogspot.com tagged me for a game.

Well, here goes. These are the RULES:Link to the person that tagged you. Which I did.Post the rules on your blog.Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog.Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 random and/or weird facts about me:

7. I'm a person who likes routine, especially about what I do in the mornings. If I deviate from what I normally do I feel like something is wrong or missing all day.

6. I can remember old friends' phone numbers from when I was a kid or teenager, but yet can't tell you what I wore yesterday.

5. Speaking of clothes I have certain clothing items for things that I do. For instance I wear the same shirt every time I fly on a plane, or drop or pick up someone in an airport. It's crazy, I know.

4. Even though I'm somewhat older I worry about what my parents think about what I do. If I'm unsure if something is the right thing to do, I ask myself... would I do this in front of my mother or father? (Doesn't mean I won't do whatever, but still I might feel a bit guilty for having done it.)

3. I make up silly songs about my pets and sing to them most everyday. My golden, Lizzie, gets a whole Broadway production when she gets her bath.

2. I'm one of those sappy people who cry their eyes out watching a sad movie or a hallmark commercial.

1. I don't like the paper material most newspapers are made out of or how they smell. After I've read the paper I have to go and wash my hands immediately. When I was a kid I wouldn't touch a newspaper at all.

OK, here are the 7 sweet ladies I'm tagging. I'm looking forward to seeing what they will write.

1. Alee
http://farmgirlalee.blogspot.com

2. Jessica
http://bluegrassprincess.blogspot.com

3. Mary Beth
http://day4plus.blogspot.com/

4. Frannie
http://freedomvalleyfarm.blogspot.com/

5. Nancy Jo
http://nancy-jo.blogspot.com/

6. Joy
http://downbranchroad.blogspot.com/

7. Elizabeth
http://ruby--slippers.blogspot.com/

A Little Snow

2008-01-22T10:02:00.000-05:00

I've let 20 days go by without blogging and I wasn't going to let that happen again. Oh well. Anyway as the title says we've got a little bit of snow in Central Kentucky today. Not much mind you, just enough to cause some traffic problems. At one time the local news was reporting about 5 wrecks at once. I had my husband drive me in to work today, I know better than to drive on a day like this. I'm not too proud to admit I'm not a good snow and ice driver and well, it just makes me too nervous. Although I did plenty of backseat/passenger side front seat driving. hehe One time I was going on so badly that the look my husband gave me made me say, "Ok, I won't say anything else." Only to be 'giving driving advice' to him in the next minute. He takes it well though, just laughs and shakes his head. He's from Sweden and he gets amused about how people here react when it snows. Especially how everyone heads to the grocery store to get the 'essentials'. But I do remember some winters from when I was young that if we hadn't of went to the store and stocked up, it would have been really bad. We haven't really had a big snow, like over 4 inches, in a long time.

It looks like the snow has melted from the roads now, although I'm sure the backroads and the roads going up the mountains are still bad. The kiddies here in Madison Co. got an extra day off today. So with MLK day yesterday they had a nice long weekend. Well good for them, I know I loved being off like that when I was in school. It felt really decadent, especially if the roads got better in the afternoon and we got to go somewhere. Too bad we can't have snow days from work when we are older.

Music

2008-01-02T16:19:00.000-05:00

Looking back through the previous posts I've made I see that I never mentioned a great love of mine. I adore music... listening to or performing. I've been singing since I was about 2 or 3. I don't know that I'm all that good at it, it's just something I've always done and loved doing. I've written several songs with a musician in England and we had a couple of our songs on download.com. I noticed a few months ago the music had been removed from the site but I have found it on another site now. How it came to be posted there I have no idea, but I'm glad it was. There are 2 songs there and they are not perfect by any means. The musician in England recorded my vocals using Skype software. He did as good as he could with the quality, but it's not studio quality due to the distance and the internet connection in general. But if anyone would like to hear these songs they can be found at:

http://www.freesoothingmusic.com/artist.php?artist_id=8

The first song: Tami's Song was written for a dear friend of mine who passed away in 1997. She was such a loving and giving person. We had been friends since I was 5 years old and the song started out as a childhood memory I had of her dancing in the rain one day. I wrote the lyrics in about 15 minutes and my songwriter friend composed the music almost as fast. It was just one of those things that came together.

The second song: If You Were my Man was originally called If You Were my Girl. The songwriter had written it for his girlfriend but changed the lyrics so I was able to record it.

I hope whoever listens to these songs enjoy them.

Some pictures of my tree

2007-12-31T21:41:00.000-05:00

Hopefully this will turn out. The first pics are of my trees, with and without the light on.

And here is my fireplace

Happy Holidays to all!

2007-12-26T09:56:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I've let so much time go by without posting something. I wanted to at least make a post a week, maybe two. I'll put that on my new year's resolution list..... make one or two blog entries a week, if not more. Sometimes I feel like I don't really have anything interesting to post or at least not interesting to anyone else. I lead a simple kind of life here, nothing too daring really. I enjoy the simple pleasures such as observing nature and the changes of the seasons. I have been keeping a weather and seasonal journal for the past few years now. I started it because I wanted to notice trends and see the best times for planting and such. Of course I rely on the Old Farmer's Almanac as well. My grandfather really enjoyed his and relied on it for information with his farm. I started reading it as a child with him and I look forward to when it comes out each year. There's a lot of good practical information in there as well.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Monday, my mother and I went to my aunt's house for dinner and had a nice time. My husband didn't feel like going, I hated leaving him at home alone, but I had promised my mom I'd take her. We spent the day at home yesterday. We made a Christmas buffet with ham, meatballs, salt and dill cured salmon, pickled herring, red cabbage, baked beans, cheese ball and all sorts of desserts. At first I wasn't sure anyone was coming but my best friend's mom and her daughter stopped by for a few hours. My best friend and her husband came later that evening. It was so nice having them, we had told them to drop by anytime because we would have the buffet up all day.

We are going by my parents tonight and exchanging presents. They were supposed to come to my house yesterday, but my father didn't feel well. I'm going to take some pics of my home and tree and try to post them on here. We'll probably keep our decorations up until the 1st or 2nd week of January.

Holidays

2007-11-13T10:43:00.000-05:00

I always look forward to this time of year. I start getting excited in September with the arrival of fall, my favorite season. Usually there are quite a few festivals around here starting then and it gets us in the mood to celebrate. I always try to schedule my vacation time in Sept. and October because I think it's the most beautiful time of year to be out in nature and it's not too hot to enjoy it.

There are a few festivals in southeast Ohio we like to go to each year. We didn't get to go this year because of work obligations. They are near the Chillicothe and Columbus area in the middle of Amish country. The fall foliage is so pretty up there and we enjoy driving around the area and stopping at the Amish shops and bakeries. Last year on the drive home it started to snow a bit. This was around the 22nd or so of October and one of the earliest times I'd experienced snow in the year.

November brings in gray skies and chilly temps, but also a longing for cozy evenings spent in a warm home. I'm more of a homebody in the late fall and winter. I still like to get outside though, just nearer to the house. I usually read more in the winter, as does my husband. Last year we had several weekends that we stayed at home, watching it snowing outside and reading one or two books each.

The best thing of November would be Thanksgiving. Up until a few years ago I had always spent Thanksgiving and Christmas at my grandparents homes on both sides of the family. We were sad to lose two grandmothers and my grandfather within the last few years and the family that remained had a hard time establishing a routine or traditions for the holidays. One aunt though took over Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving and does a beautiful job making everyone there feel welcome and loved. The first few years were rough for us all though as we missed them so much. All my grandparents made the holidays a special time for us by their enthusiasm for celebrating and their love. Even though our family is much smaller due to deaths and others moving away I hope those remaining, new ones who enter our number, and friends who wish to join us have the happy times that I experienced in the past.

For this Thanksgiving my aunt is hosting the dinner on this Saturday. Her daughter is a nurse and has to work on Thanksgiving. My husband is on call that week as well and might have to go in on Thursday, so this works out well for us. The past two Thanksgivings we've not really had our dinner on the Thursday for some reason or the other. My husband and I had dinner out on Thanksgiving Thursday because he was on call for work and had to go in. Actually we enjoyed it just as much since we knew we would meet up with family on another day. We'll probably do it again this year as well. The day we get together doesn't matter, just as long as we always do. Family is important and I'm realizing it more as I'm getting older and I'm losing my loved ones.

Weekend

2007-11-06T14:48:00.000-05:00

Just now getting around to posting about the nice weekend I had. Saturday my husband and I didn't do too much, just went into town to a few new shops I had been wanting to visit. Richmond is trying to revitalize the downtown section and it seems there are a few more specialty shops now. My husband was excited that a hike and bike shop was open as we'd been by there several times and it had been closed. They had pretty much anything one could want for outdoor adventures and what they didn't have they said they could get. So hubby was pleased to hear that and started making a mental list for Christmas gifts I could get him.

There's a new collectibles type store on main street and I bought my first rag child doll. She was so pretty and was only $3.00! I thought that was awfully cheap for a handmade item, but figured they were running some kind of sale. When I got home I noticed the tag on it that said... made in China. Hmmm. Well, it's a sweet doll anyway and I've name her Hannah. I placed her hanging from the mantle to the side of the fireplace. I also bought some homemade soaps there. We went to the by-pass area and found an antique and collectibles store there that had a lot of nice things, but the candles were so fragrant they gave my husband a headache so we had to leave.

Sunday was really nice, we finally got to geocache a bit. We went to Lexington as there are a lot of new caches out since we had been last. We had our GPSr loaded up and was looking forward to caching all day. We found 3 and decided to eat lunch. We went to a restaurant on Richmond Road that I had never been to and heard some great things about. They had a nice affordable lunch menu and I chose the Turkey dinner special. My husband had a crab cake/shrimp combo. Everything was really good and we decided to find more caches after we ate. We went to a city park I'd never heard of and found one cache that was hidden deep in a wooded area. It was so nice walking along the paths and kicking up the leaves. The temperature was in the lower 60s and the sun was shining. We had our golden, Lizzie, with us and she made several canine and human friends in the park. That's the special thing with Goldens they have such a sweet nature and expression that most people want to come and pet or meet her. Anyway, after we found that cache and returned to our vehicle I noticed my stomach was hurting a bit. It wasn't a few minutes after that my husband said his was as well. We barely made it to his office before we became ill and had to rest there for a bit. After that we headed back home. Still all in all it was a nice weekend. Anytime I can get out and walk in nature with the beautiful weather we've been having it's a great time.

Trick or Treat

2007-10-30T10:20:00.000-04:00

My county is having trick or treat night tonight instead of tomorrow night. Usually I have only one or two people that come but I buy enough candy as if 50 or more will be stopping. As I live out in a rural area there's not much traffic, but more than one might think. I believe it's the new trend to go to subdivisions or church sponsored 'Trunk or Treat' now.

When I was a kid I couldn't wait until Halloween. It was then and still is one of my favorite holidays. The area I live in is/was full of my relatives and family friends. So my dad drove me to nearly every house in a few miles radius. I would come home with a plastic pumpkin full of candy as well as a grocery sack full that I would dump the candy in when the pumpkin got too full. My favorite candy was smarties, necco, the peanut butter kisses, and of course m&ms. My husband asked me to get 'good' candy this year as kids don't like the kind I pick out. He knows we'll have leftover candy for a while, so he wants the kind he likes. hehe Big kid!

I surely miss my grandmother (dad's mom) this time of year. She really went all out for Halloween, she enjoyed it so much. Her yard was always decorated and she made homemade treats like popcorn balls!

I hope everyone has a Happy and safe Halloween!

My first entry....

2007-10-29T11:48:00.000-04:00

First entries are hard I think. I guess I'll start by introducing myself and telling a bit about my life and where I live. I'm a forty-something woman living in central Kentucky and I've pretty much lived here all my life. I've been happily married for the past 8 years to my best friend and soulmate. He's a keeper and a very patient man. We live in a rural area and in fact only two miles from the house I was raised in. We haven't been blessed with children yet, but we are still hoping. We do have our animal and fowl family members though. We have 3 peafowl, 1 guinea fowl, 1 golden retriever who is the sweetest girl ever, and two chow mix dogs who are sweeties as well. We were sad to lose two feline family members recently, Ellie Mae and Natasha.

I work a full time job as office manager at a steel fab shop and have a part time job as an accounting clerk for a used car lot. Life is pretty busy here, it doesn't get boring too often as there is something usually going on or that needs done.

We live on a couple of acres with a barn, pond, and small orchard. My husband and I are fairly new to the 'farming' life although I've lived near or on one most of my life. We put out a small garden each year, mostly growing tomatoes, herbs, potatoes, sugar snap peas, rhubarb, cantaloupe, watermelon, and this year we had a couple of pumpkin vines. Our orchard has several pear trees, apple trees, cherry tree, blueberry bushes, blackberries, raspberries, and we have some grape vines. As I said we are pretty new to all this and are learning as we go.

Thanks to all who read this and hope you all have a great day.